Numbness

I was cold before I let you in. But once you're in, you felt the warmth in my heart. I spoke true words, straight from that bloody abyss. I guess you couldn't take that much honesty.. So you left and I've become colder, bitter..

I hope you are happy.. I hope your conscience guides you to do what's best for us. I hope you'll try to mend the broken hearts resulted from our untimely separation. But not mine.. Just don't torment me with your kindness.. Just leave.. Don't turn back.. I am numb.. I won't feel a thing.. Not from your apology..

*****

Argh sakit kepala.. Apsal la kalau tensen aku nak kena sakit kepala and melancholy bagai. Bukan ke angin kus-kus ni datang sebulan sekali je?Damn you hormones..You're not supposed to torment me yet. Ayat nak jiwang je.. Sengal

" Jangan la kerja kuat sangat"

"Apa?"

" Don't work too hard. Your body can't take it"

"Seriously, it's none of your concern, Kei"

Aku toleh pandang tempat lain. Rimas!

" Apa yang kau cuba nak buktikan sebenarnya? Kau nak dia suka kau?Nak dia mintak maaf dengan kau, mesra-mesra dengan kau, puji kau.. And stop being an ass he is? You know it won't happen.. You don't even give shit about what he thinks of you.. Don't over exert yourself. It's not like he's going to be nice to you"

Aku mengeluh.. Demmit Kei.. It's hard to say you're wrong when you know exactly what's on my mind.

" I know..." Peluk tubuh.. Damn, sejuk gila. I am getting sick of all this extra work load..

" Aku just nak busykan diri.. Malas nak fikir pasal benda yang aku tak patut pikir.."

"Day.. Don't run away from your problem.."

Aku pusing tengok Kei. Cam biasa, kening jungkit tinggi.

" Habis tu apa? Nak aku hadap muka mamat tu? And then cakap apa? Hey you suck! Stop pushing me around to do your bidding! I know you ular besar. Aku tak kantoikan kau sebab aku tak kuasa nak gaduh..CAMTU?"

Kei gelak..

" I wish you have the courage to do so one day. But for now, rest.. Jangan fikir sangat. Tinggalkan hal keje kat ofis. Enjoy your personal space. Kau kat rumah kan ni.. Kau bukan Cik Hidayah.. Kau Day. No one can tell you what to do in your own house. Ok? Come on.. Cheer up"

Kei hulur sweater..

" I'll make you some tea.."

"What tea?" 

Kei dah bangun, kat pintu bilik, toleh ambil sengih..

" Your detox tea. Kau dah start gemuk balik Day. And you need to 'make the cake'"

YARGHHHHH!!!!!!!! Stop pissing me off with that tasteless comment of yours about my body, you ignorant imaginary persona!

"But really.. Take care of your health"

*********

So hey guise,

I'm getting boring am I? Still mental block lagi. Takde benda lucu yang jadi sejak akhir-akhir. Weird because I always found everything that happens around me is a source of humor. Huuu.. agaknya aku dah tua.. Dan mungkin aku ni tensen sangat.

Ye.. Aku rasa aku dibuli kat tempat kerja. Tapi ni mungkin aku je yang suka pikir benda yang bukan-bukan padahal orang tu belum tentu lagi bermaksud nak buli aku ke apa. Maybe he just need me some lovin'.. Hehehe..

Aku patut keluar jalan-jalan. Jangan depress Day.. Jangan depress!!

Adieu

[Sedang menjeling ruang komen setiap seminit.. People.. come on.. I'm lonely..] .