Dear Old Friend Pt.2

Friday, November 22, 2019

Last year I wrote about I friend I decided to unfriend. 


Surprise.. Surprise.. The dude resurfaced. Apparently he's sending a friend request to my Facebook account. Hah! I deleted you; why would I accept it again? Plus, I don't even go to Facebook that much anymore.

Apart from that dude, there's another dude who tries to add me. (I don't always talk about friend requests that come my way, but I feel strongly about these two). This dude is just as annoying if not more than the other one. One similarity they share is that they befriended my mom. Which is rather odd when you think about it. But my mom is some sort of a local celebrity anyway so yeah.

The thing about this dude, let's call him T, is he likes to insult me on my mom's posts. Constantly pointing out my weight and what not. He said it jokingly but always the same recycled "joke". Mom said he might be interested in me. But why on earth would I be inclined to get to know him when he incessantly trying to make me feel inferior? One thing he's wrong about me is that I don't need his validation. Does he think by making me feel bad about myself I would lower my ground and settle for an inadequate man as himself? Plus, he is infamously prickly. Dad says he could see how hot-headed T is from their first encounter. Definitely not someone that would suit well with a hot-headed woman like me.

Anyway, I'm not gonna accept their friend requests because what for? Seriously, Why? One is living across the sea, interacting only through shades and submentions, the other one is straight up annoying whose only connection he manages to retain between us is primary school friend. Not even a memorable one.

Good riddance to both of them.

Adieu

Wedding After-effect

Thursday, November 07, 2019



Marriage..

I used to think that marriage is a destination I want to come to one day. Years passed, I'm getting more and more afraid of marriage. I've met quite a few slew of men. Some are downright revolting but most are good guys, genuine friend material.

But the only guys who approach me for marriage are the guy in the first category. Guys who were engaged, guys who were married, those kinda guys. The decent ones are content with being friends which I'm totally okay with. So yes, I am afraid of marriage and the guys who approach me with marriage in mind. I truly believe that I'm not one to marry. I'm scared of guys. I'm scared of emotionally investing in one.

Lately I've been receiving a lot of question regarding my marriage status. When are you getting married? Are you being too choosy with guys? Do you have anyone in mind?

The truth is, I'm scared shitless. I'm scared of getting married but I'm also scared of not getting married. It feels like a norm to plan my life towards marriage so I do feel anxious when I find myself hating the idea of it. I have a strong feeling towards someone but even that doesn't materialize into a desire to get married. I want to be loved. I don't want to be tied down though. The whole structure of marriage feels like a disaster waiting to happen.

I am getting old. I don't think even think I'm that desirable to guys anyway. And the thought of having a child is a nightmare to me. I'm not a prime specimen of human being. I'm not sure I want to pass down my gene to the next generation. What if I'm a shitty parent in the making? What if I'm not good enough to be one? Worse, what if I'm not capable of being one?

Yes, the imagination of having a perfect relationship does reel me in sometimes. Having someone to caress you, to touch and to feel is nice. But the price to having one is something I'm not ready to pay. Maybe what I'm truly afraid of is a failed marriage. And avoiding getting married is my way of not having a failed marriage.

Adieu

Work : Project Completion Ceremony (SBG201)

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

Kick-off and closing ceremonies are huge in construction as they are in any industry. In conjunction with the completion of our precast segments for the Northern Packages, I've prepared a digital journal of the big day. I'm experimenting with digital templates this time around.

It was fun.. huhu.

I thought I had to clarify the last bit about alcohol and how we deal with "Yambui" culture in a multicultural corporation. Popping a bottle of champagne or two is very normal in any industry. But that doesn't mean everyone is handed a glass of alcoholic drink whenever we're celebrating. In all my years working in construction, feast is something that is prepared in consideration of everyone. We don't serve beef to cater for the Hindus (and some faction of Buddhist??). No pork and beer for the Muslims. Drinking party is usually held elsewhere.

As for the "Champagne Bathing" ritual, it's not like people are drinking from the surface of concrete. So I get it if anyone feels a bit uneasy with the whole deal but maybe chill a bit before saying anything.

Anyway, I'm sharing some photos taken during the ceremony.
Taken with our General Manager and Deputy Construction Director of MMC Gamuda PDP.

Our cute small team of four. We're used to be 5 but 1 of us got transferred to another team. Kinda sad that he didn't get to celebrate this milestone with us.

This is how we name our segment. Segment SGB35-15 is the final segment out of 8,331 standard segment cast in SPCI Casting Yard, Senawang. "SGB35" is the span reference and "13" is the segment sequence. I hope that makes sense to laymen.

With the Precast Manager of SPC Industry. I hope to meet you again in the future, Fairuz. Maybe some day we'll work together in another mega project, Insya Allah.


Adieu.. et au revoir..

Movie Review: Mother! (2017)

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Many movies was ruined for me by spoilers. One of the prime example for this was Gone Girl. Seriously, watch that movie if you haven't and stay away from spoilers or any article on it.

However, I am actually glad that I watch a movie explained video on mother! before watching it. From many article I've read about mother!, I can say that the movie is grossly misunderstood and undermined.


Directed by Darren Aronofsky who directed the likes of Black Swan and Requiem for A Dream, I've expected the movie to be rather dark and psychological. It is dark and does invoke some debate. Mother! is an allegory. Some would call it blasphemous in its depiction of God and religion.

I was ready to write the whole synopsis for the movie just now. Actually I did write three paragraphs of it. Oh well. Better not. To best enjoy the movie, try relating the action of the characters in the movie with biblical characters.

First, the man of the house was said to be God, or a Creator. The movies starts with him placing a crystal on a pedestal. A burnt surrounding is then morphed into a beautiful house. His wife who was unnamed but was the titular character so she was dubbed as Mother, is maybe best understood as mother nature. She is nurturing, keen on building the house with care and dedication. House might be the embodiment of earth. Upstairs is a study where Creator writes his poem (ehem..ehem.. poem equals to religious scripture). The study is supposed to be Heaven. Later in the movie, two characters (probably Adam and Eve) sneak into the study and broke a very special crystal in the room so The Creator sealed the room and vowed that the two of them will never enter there ever again. Hmm, not dissimilar to when Adam and Eve being banished from Heaven eh?

Later come Adam and Eve's sons who fight in the house until one of them is accidentally killed in the brawl. Wait a minute, that's Cain and Abel story. The Creator hold a wake for the fallen son inviting more men into his house. We see that Mother is getting weaker and more frustrated with her husband. Her frustration is peeked when a stranger breaks down a sink, flooding her kitchen. This might be a reach and I think that was supposed to mirror the big flood in Noah's Ark story.

The Creator finally has sex with wife which we see previously something that he avoided for a long time. The next morning, you know it, Mother is pregnant! The Creator is overjoyed. He is inspired so he goes on writing poem. When it is finished, The Creator shows it to Mother and his publisher. Abruptly, The Creator gain insane follower. Hmmm.. if this is not a depiction of religion and followers, I don't know what. His fame grows so big that men come pouring in the house, stealing things from the house just like how religious fanatics hoard religious relics with them.

In the chaos, The Creator takes Mother to his study, away from the fanatics and Mother gives birth to a BOY! Let me guess, Jesus?

Mother is understandably distraught by the amount of strangers in her house and she refuses to give her baby to The Creator to hold. But she finally falls asleep and immediately The Creator takes the baby away from her to show him to his fans. And what do you know. The fans kill the baby (like how the Romans killed Jesus) and eat the flesh (like how Christians eat Body of Jesus, a piece of bread by the way, during communion).

Mother is mad MAD! The Creator asks Mother to forgive his fans saying that he doesn't know that they would kill their son. Wow, this man a whole load.

Mother then runs to the cellar and ignite a tankful of gasoline. The house erupts with hellfire and everyone except The Creator is burnt to crisps. As they should. Human are pest and I hate them in this movie. Good job Mother! Now doesn't that sound like the Apocalypse? In fact, there was one instance where Mother said "I'll prepare for the apocalypse" referring to her impeding labor at that time.

The movie doesn't end there. After all is burnt down, The Creator, unharmed by the fire, brings Mother's horrifically burnt body to his study and ask for her love. Mother weakly cries in her deathbed asking why were she and the baby not enough? Why did The Creator need men? He says that it was his nature to create which is why he needs her love to rebuild the world. She allows him to take it from her chest. The Creator reaches for Mother's heart and brings out another crystal. He then places the crystal on a pedestal and the cycle starts again with a another version of Mother.

This movie is amazing! Jennifer Lawrence is perfection. I hate The Creator and Men so much that I was rooting for Mother to burn the whole shitshow. Although the movie is sometimes framed very tightly, it creates this uneasiness that suffocates you the longer you're in it which fits with Mother's own reaction to the events unfold in front of her. The first act in the movie shows how beautiful the house and the surrounding is. From the very start of the movie, we know that this world is not set in the real world. And when the ending is set in motion, the way the camera pan to every chaos in the house gives a visceral view of human's downfall. Absolutely nuts and gripping! Give mother! a watch. It can be blasphemous at times but boy this movie is made for second viewing.

And please.. Give your love to Mother. Reduce plastic waste and promote recycling. Kesian tau Mak penat dengan perangai makhluk-makhluk perosak yang bernama manusia ni.

You are Cancelled

Friday, June 21, 2019


Truth be told, I'm a hateful person. I hold grudges. I know people do it too. I'm not trying to justify my behavior, I just want to let it out there.

I tend to drop people when they did something beyond compromise. I can handle a few missteps here and there but once I snap, that's it. You're dead to me. You will receive no pity let alone love from me. The latest sod to join the rank was a colleague of mine.

Lets call her Z because she's now last in my list of insignificant character.

Z ni sebaya dengan aku. Meaning we both had some years under our belt. Tapi disebabkan dia sambung belajar, dia join company company ni jauh lebih lewat berbanding aku yang dah bertahun-tahun kerja. Disebabkan itulah aku ditugaskan untuk melatih Z ni. Aku tak ada masalah nak bimbing orang ke jalan yang benar. Sebelum ni pun trainee-trainee memang diletak bawah pengawasan aku sebab aku boleh dikatakan paling muda kat sini so mungkin lebih senang nak relate dengan budak-budak yang baru mula nak kerja.

Tapi aku bermasalah nak ajar orang yang taknak belajar. Penat dah point out benda sama jugak salahnya. And she blamed it as part of her character. "Aku memang tak detail oriented la Day. Nak buat macam mana?". Boleh eh bagi alasan macam tu as a professional? Tu belum cakap lagi pasal skill bahasa Inggeris yang level sekolah menengah. No, scratch that. Maybe lower. Masalah dengan skill bahasa yang lemah ni mungkin nampak macam isu picisan. Tapi cuba kau fikir, kita ada banyak lagi masalah teknikal yang nak diselesaikan. Kau fikir aku aku ada masa ke nak ajar apa tu verb, apa tu subject, apa tu object, apa tu SENTENCE STRUCTURE!!!??

Kalau semua dokumen yang kau prepare last-last aku kena rombak dan buat balik, kau tak rasa macam buang masa ke kau buat semua tu? Kau tak fikir aku ada kerja lain lagi nak buat ke? Suruh ambik course English, taknak. Tapi laju sign up untuk course advance macam 3D modelling yang takde kena mengena ngan tugas dia. Tau la nak pandai, tapi boleh tak pandai buat kerja dulu? Aku pun still join English course sebab malu prepare document tak betul. Kau dengan selamber tak pernah plan pun nak improve diri sendiri. Apa kau fikir aku personal proofreader kau ke?

Dan benda paling aku tak boleh blah dengan Z ni, dia ni jenis tak fikir orang lain. Ambik cuti tak bincang ngan team member. Kami ni bertiga je, Manager sorang, Engineer dua orang. Bila boss takde, aku memang dah confirm-confirm la tak boleh ambik cuti sebab kena standby. Bila ada cuti hari awal minggu tu tak boleh ke kau tanya sepatah dua kat kawan kau yang asal dari ceruk mana ni nak ambik cuti panjang ke apa ke? Taaaakkk. Yang kau fikir, kau je nak balik kampung. Kau je ada mak nak kena jenguk. Kau je ada kampung halaman. Tapi takpelah aku faham. Annual leave orang. Apa hal aku nak bising. First come first serve la bak kata orang kampung aku dulu.

Tapi! Bila kau nak cuti tu, boleh tak consider tugas kau?

So macam ni. Dalam department kitorang ada satu program knowledge sharing di mana setiap bulan ada seorang wakil dari beberapa team akan present berkenaan construction item yang berkaitan dengan diorang. Aku punya part dah lepas. So kali ni, dia punya turn. First of, dia buat slide terus kena reject dan bos bagi kata dua kat aku suruh aku take over, prepare presentation deck untuk dia. Fine, takpelah. Walaupun panas dalam hati, aku anggap charity jela. Bila aku dah siapkan presentation slide, boleh pulak dia tak pernah vet through material tu. Habis tu kau nak present main baca slide je ke?

Bos aku ada satu peraturan. Bila ada orang dalam team tu kena present, semua kena hadir untuk bagi support. Both morally and technically. So bila aku tengok tarikh presentation dia jatuh pada 10 Jun 2019, aku tak berkira, terus beli tiket flight balik KL on 9th June 2019. Mind you this was during raya holiday. A few days later flight prices are vastly cheaper. But you know what, it's okay. It's work. You have to do what you have to do.

But guess what. Dia boleh ambik cuti 10 haribulan tu. Walaupun dia kena present hari tu. Habis tu dia expect siapa yang kena ganti dia present? AKU? Macam tu? Aku dah hangin. Dah la sakit hati tak pernah fikir giliran orang cuti, bab kerja sendiri pun boleh dia tolak tepi atas sebab "Alamak.. tapi aku nak cuti hari tu... (muka sedih)".

Aku bertegas aku takkan ganti dia present. Apa-apa pun setel ngan bos, nak cancel cuti tu atau tukar tarikh presentation. Dia putuskan untuk tukar tarikh presentation. Ok la fine. Suka hati kau. Kau deal sendiri dengan Secretary General Manager untuk tukar tarikh. I don't give a fuck anymore.

Tapi lagi sekali Z buat tahi. Macam biasa la. Dia mana nak check giliran cuti orang bila dia buat apa-apa keputusan. So tarikh presentation dia jatuh pada hari bos aku cuti panjang. Basically nanti masa dia present, aku la kena back up dia. Aku la kena jawab semua soalan-soalan teknikal nanti sebab nak harapkan dia memang pandai buat muka sedih dan merengek. AKU HARAP AKU CIRIT BIRIT HARI TU SO THAT AKU BOLEH MC SEBAB AKU TAKNAK SUPPORT KAU! I refuse!

YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN YOU SELFISH PRICK! Goodbye forever.

Adieu

Waiting Read: Murakami [Birthday Girl]

Friday, June 14, 2019

This was a while back.

On the morning of April 28th, I headed down to Dpulze to watch Avengers Endgame. I hate spoiler so I knew I had to be fast about watching the movie before some asshole could ruin it for me. Because of how immensely popular the movie franchise was (and still is), I could only manage to buy ticket for 4.30pm show. I had to either go home and come back or kill my time at the shopping mall for 5 hours. Before I can make that decision, I went to MPH to look for some worthwhile reading material. Lo and behold..


What a pleasant surprise. I am easily intrigued by anything Murakami. And this is talking as someone who still struggles to finish 1Q84. Birthday Girl is a short story. It doesn't even follow the typical novel or pocket book size which makes it seem like a children book rather than an adult read. I wanted something longer to kill my hours but there was no other Murakami on the shelves so I settled for the short story. Was it less confusing than Murakami's other books? You would wish that.

Though it was more grounded than most, its main topic remained a mystery until the end. The story follows a woman recalling her 20th birthday. Due to series of coincident and mishap befalling people who work at a restaurant with her, she was tasked with serving its mysterious owner his dinner. This had never happened before and shouldn't have been her task because she was not supposed to be working on that shift.

Probably her birthday was working its magic on her or maybe it was all a coincident, but she ended up meeting the mysterious man. Even more surprising, the man was rather fond of her and offered to grant her a wish. The wish itself was never revealed and the girl left after making her wish. The man said the wish had been granted and they never met each other again.

The girl grew up into a woman who is now telling this story to her companion.

Now this is me spoiling the story but even with that much information, you can't really make out anything from the book. This is how Murakami writes his stories. It was a good read. But don't expect to have anything explained to you.

I finished the book very quickly. As with any other Murakami, I was left with wanting more so I went back to the bookstore and bought a classic, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. Half through the book, I had to go watch Avengers Endgame. Have I finished reading HGTTG? Nope. The story is interesting, I just lack persistence.

So that's it. I'm currently reading Murakami's After Dark while setting aside HGTTG. I know, I shouldn't do that but this is Murakami we're talking about. Until next time, take care.

Adieu

Day,


Part time normal, most of the time comic enthusiast. Almost always borderline crazy. Still experimenting with comic blogging. An engineer with a vision to not be taken seriously. Everything you read on this blog doesn't represent my gender, religion or profession as a whole. Other name you might associate with me are Deaday, DayGoon, JaeminGoon and *cough* Mona *cough*