A Stir

It feels like my life is taken over by the littlest thing. Little things which are collectively HIM. Every song sounds like a love song when I'm with him. His smile is like the warm coffee in the morning, reassuring, comforting. He stares into my soul, burning a hole through my head. His gaze is so loving and child like. My eyes immediately run elsewhere as the warm blood gushes to my cheeks. Enough with the dimpled smile, mister. You're making me blush.

His shoulders shake as he chuckles at my reaction. He pulls my hand, clasping in his left. His other hand reaches for my face, fingers grazing softly on my cheek to my lips. His lips mouth a word.

"Beautiful"

And I woke up, depressed. That was an awesome dream.

I've been getting a lot of pleasant dreams as of late. Reading a well written fanfic is really refreshing. The images keep flashing whenever I'm immersed in a good song or taking a nap in my cosy bed. I miss reading. I miss loving books. Whenever I'm reading a good piece, it's like I'm living the romance as if it were my own. I'm nowhere close to being a good writer. I don't think I will ever be. But if I were to create something, I hope it comforts people it touches. I hope it makes people feel warm and loved. That's what good writing do to you.

I can be a warm person too. I want to be a warm person.

p/s: If you are here for a comic, I think you'll be disappointed. Yet again. I won't commit to anything. I just want to enjoy this moment.

10 years later

"On the way here I've thought about a thousand curse words for you. All the years you've wronged me. All the pain you've inflicted on me." He paused. He lifted his face. His lips trembled nervously as he said "But now that I see you, all I want to do is to hug you"

I looked into his eyes, brimming with tears. Not a single word escaped my lips. Calmly, I slammed the door to his face. BAM!

"Drop dead, you bastard"

And I carried on watching YouTube with his wailing echoed along the corridor.

This is a snippet of my currently running fanfic on Asian Fanfic. Yeah, I write fanfic now. Not the gay OTP fanfic people usually associates with. I don't do those kind of fanfic. So, worry not, this snippet is in no way reflecting my personal life. I don't have ex running after me. My love life is somehow stagnant. I kinda like it most of the time.

I should really go back to making comic and stuff but heyyyy.... I'm a lazy ass person who lives on hating herself so FML.