Moving in Circle

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Mom used to say that when you miss someone, even looking at the path he took would ease the longing. But you'd miss him even more soon after.

[Kei's POV]

She's awfully quiet. It's almost like she's not there at all. She's steering the wheel, looking straight in front but not really watching. Losing your attention while driving is dangerous, kid! Snap out of it. Kei steals a glance at Day beside him. She's awfully out of character - well not entirely true. She has always been a brooding kid, retreating to her dark cave every now and then whenever she feels like it. Not even Kei can enter her mind when she does that. And that is saying something. Kei is her after all. He's the product of her misery, of her loneliness. But that doesn't mean that Kei understands her entirely. But she does. Entirely. 

"It's okay. I'm just taking a detour" she says, answering to Kei's beaming inner thought.

"I know this road" Kei notices. Yes.. the trail is very familiar. She doesn't come here that often but when she does she ends up hurting herself. Something Kei hates. Kei nervously reaches for her arm. 

"Don't. I know what I'm doing. It's not like we're gonna see him anyway." She says, masking her true feeling under a gleeful smile. She's nervous. She's missing him so much. That's the truth. It's so obvious that it makes Kei's blood boils in rage. Stop thinking about that guy. You're hurting yourself. He knows she can hear him even though the scream doesn't leave his lips.

"Relax. We're not living in a cheap drama where it's always easy to bump into someone you miss" the last word is muffled behind her teeth. She pulls up that obnoxious fake smile again. There's a hint of sadness in the corner of her eyes. Who are you trying to fool, Day? Stop it..

The closer they are to the new house by the junction the more apparent her nervousness is. Her heart beats faster, lips stripped of colour and her fingers trembles against the steering. And there he is. Just like in the novel. It's almost magical to see the very guy Day's heart is fixed to just walks out of the house heading to his white Honda. A glance is enough to prove that the guy in red t-shirt, sling bag across his chest is him. He still looks the same. Same walk. Same style. The same guy Day has being seeing in her dreams.

For a second, she smiles in all honesty. Her cheeks are painted with dusty pink. She watches him and wishes she could throw away that cap from his lush curls. She never really like curly hair but damn he looks good in his dark curls. Some of them escape from under his snapback. Was it a snapback? She couldn't tell because as fast as she recognises him, she turns away. But from the corner of her eyes she sees it. She sees them. There is a woman next to him and she's carrying a baby. Out of fear or anger maybe, she couldn't register her face.

She quickly turns to the right, fleeing the scene. Kei is hanging to the seat as Day speeds through the rocky trails to the main road. Her eyes are widen in surprise for the next 5 minutes. He doesn't think she knows where she's heading to anymore. She just needs to escape as soon as possible. 

She finally hit the brake when they reach the beach. Her forehead rests on the steering. Kei hears a small sobbing, almost like a choking sniff. Kei reaches for Day's shoulder. He wants to comfort her. He wants her to cry in his chest but Day held out her arm.

"Leave me for a bit, will you Kei?"

And Kei obeys. Day is alone again in the car as she has been all the time.

Kei doesn't know how long he's away from her but by the time he finds himself sitting next to Day again, the tears have already dried. Tears for someone else. As much as Kei hate to see her cry, he would rather have the cry belong to him instead. Not for some guy who has already forgotten about Day. He would have treated her better. He wouldn't let those tears ever escaping unless it is because she's too happy to stop it from falling. Kei pulls Day to his embrace.

"It's okay. I got you..".
Mom used to say that when you miss someone, even looking at the path he took would ease the longing. But you'd miss him even more soon after.
I don't.. It's not longing that I feel.. This is pure torture. 


p/s: Listen to "We don't talk anymore" by Charlie Puth. It's being ringing my head for the whole day now. Oh my god

p/p/s: I wanted to draw a two-pages comic on this but I can't bring myself to do it. Ahh.. I really need to practice my stroke more.

p/p/p/s: Hahaha.. Sorry.. I can't help myself but do watch this choreo cover for the song. It's so pretty.


  1. Replies
    1. True story is just a story told from a single point perspective..

      tapi cite tak real sebab Kei tak wujud pun di alam nyata. hahah

  2. Awww.. mon, i dunno what to say, huhu. Aku sedih baca, tetiba nk tergelak plk bayangkn Kei pegang seat bila ko pecut keta, muhuhu.

    Dulu aku pun susah nk lalu path yg penah kami lalui, eceh. Tp tpksa lalu gak sbb tu laluan nk g keja. Ok hambar.

    1. Aku tak tau la mungkin sebab aku suka sakitkan hati sendiri kot tapi aku suka pegi balik kt tempat kitorang pernah hangout sama-sama.

  3. Ahh!
    Aku tahu sangat perasaan ni.

    1. Good to know someone feel the same.. (T.T) *termenung jauh*

  4. U'll be able to love again. And u'll be so deeply loved and in love. :)

  5. deep nya perasaan tu. hoping that the right guy soon will find Day :)

    1. Tolong sape2 pass kat mamat tu GPS ke peta ke apa.. Lambat nau nk sampai

  6. 1. Shikarishite kudasai, Day-chan :)
    2. Nice drawing, as always.
    3. Yes, I agree with you on the choreography cover of the song being so pretty. Nice moves indeed :D

    1. 1. kumawo, chingu ya..
      2. Again, thanks for the kind word. Nanti aku belanje sirap ais..
      3. OMG aku obses kot ngn choreo tu. So intimate..

  7. forgive me but may i ask. is kei your alter ego? or your other half? or your soulmate? or perhaps your ideal type of soulmate? i have been reading your blog since forever and this kei figure is always there for you but to me he seems too good to be true. a very ideal figure for a life partner, i must say. if he really is exist, you really are one lucky girl.... :)

    1. Do ask..

      Kei is.. hah.. how to put this.. He's more like a supplementary persona rather than an alter ego. He's not entirely a different person but someone who is me or someone who I wish to be. Does that make sense? Kei is not real but his behavior is an amalgamation of real people I've met, people I adored. In this blog however, he's more like a resident character, only he's more personal than others. Is he my ideal type? Not really. My ideal type is very different.

      I'm sorry for the lack of better explanation. In short, he's an imaginary character.


The way you comment is so telling...


Part time normal, most of the time comic enthusiast. Almost always borderline crazy. Still experimenting with comic blogging. An engineer with a vision to not be taken seriously. Everything you read on this blog doesn't represent my gender, religion or profession as a whole. Other name you might associate with me are Deaday, DayGoon, JaeminGoon and *cough* Mona *cough*