Dear Old Friend

I have been thinking a lot before sharing this story of mine. One of the reason is because it happened a long time ago when we were kids. But going back to our last interaction, I think it is important for me to write about it. At least I would feel better about not keeping it to myself any longer..

I was not used to getting visitors from school. I had issue back then so I didn't really invite that many people to my humble abode. You were the selected few. But that doesn't mean you can come and go as you please.

I don't know if you still remember the way to my house. In case you forgot, I drew a pretty one for you.

As you can see, my house is rather secluded from the rest. It is located at the far end of the road and surrounded by heavy vegetation. The closest neighbor we have is a lot away. we don't see people and people don't see us. Just want to put it out there.

So you came over one day, without prior notice and saw me without hijab. You fled the scene. Probably afraid of the sudden realization of "Oh my God, she's not bald!" I didn't mind you running away. In fact I thought it was commendable. What I didn't appreciate was you avoiding me for the next few days like I was some kind of plague. I didn't even know why the sudden cold shoulder. We were close back then. I thought you were my brother.

When you finally had the courage to confront me, you told me the whole thing. That was when I know you had paid me a visit that day. I remembered your text (imagine that.. You were so afraid to tell your friend what happened that you rather text her after a few days of hiding).

"Hidayah, as a muslim I must remind you to cover your aurah. God will punish those who deviated from His command and not covering your aurah is a sin. I saw you that day when I went to your house for a visit. I was so shocked that I can't bring myself to go on. I quickly turned my bike away. So please. Protect your dignity as a muslimah"

That was pretty much the text (though in Terengganu shortform malay texting).

Wow!

First of all, thank you. Thanks to you I am more mindful of what I wear at home. It didn't occur to me how open my compound was back then. You know, being secluded and surrounded by trees and all. We never had an occurrence of a stranger coming to our home unannounced before. Everybody else had the decency to CALL first before coming. Because hey, there's only one guy in our household. Plus it is one of the adab when visiting someone. ASK FOR PERMISSION TO VISIT FIRST! Didn't we learn that at school?

And you avoided me like I was filthy. Why? Because you saw me without hijab? Accidentally I might add. And that was my fault?

You know what. Fine. I give you that. You were just being a good muslim, policing women as you see fit without realizing you too didn't observe the guideline set by Prophet Muhammad about visiting. Fine. I admit it was my fault. It was easier to put on hijab than asking permission to visit someone. 

Fast forward a few years. We lost contact for like 5 years give or take. You found my Facebook account and added me to your friendlist. Nothing's wrong with that. But you're such a passive aggressive prick! A spineless one at that. You have problem with the way I up my status. You find it distasteful. This is not how a muslimah conduct herself on social media! And of course, instead of coming straight to me and tell me what's wrong, you rather talk about me through sub-post (subtweet or unmensi for those who are more familiar with twitter). 

"I remember you as soft and kind soul. But your thought are poisoned. Your words are like thorn"

(Again you posted in Malay but that's about it)

I just had enough. You had to have a say on everything. You had to get people to follow your way of thinking. I had enough of people like you back in school. So thank you. Thank you so much for your concern. You are a good muslim. But maybe not a good friend.

You know who's a good friend? Someone who doesn't judge others the way you did. I still have friends like that. Someone who always have time when I ask about islam. Someone who doesn't condescendingly advice you on how you are not a true muslim. Someone who actually send you a copy of Quran with markers on ayaat to help you through tough time. Friends like that! To these precious friends, I could only pray for Allah to repay your kindness. You are a true muslim. You are my hope in humanity. God bless you always. I truly love you.

Adieu