I come to realize that I hate everyone that has my personality.
My know-it-all pretense to mask my ignorance on how to become a functional human being.
My obsession with looking fine and fitting into society because deep down I never belong anywhere.
My judgmental view on everything that stemmed from my need for validation. What I wear. What I buy. What I talk about. Validate me. Tell me I'm great. Tell me I'm the best because the lie I tell myself is not sufficient.
So no! I wasn't talking about you. Unfortunately, I was talking about me. It's a form of self-loathe. Maybe you haven't heard of that before because you're so in love with who you are or who you led people to think you are.
Oh fuck. I did it again. I do that. I am the one who's so in love with idea of me. I am the own who pretend to be everything. Who the fuck am I in this world? Do I love myself? Do I hate myself? Make up your mind, god damn it.
Why am I acting this way? I don't want you to form an opinion about me. Because I know.. I know I'm flawed. I hate myself for being flawed. Oh God I hate this dark cloud in my head. Am I sick? Give me something to treat it.. Or a poison to kill it.
Some days I feel like stabbing my thigh just to get out of this numb shell..
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Day,
Part time normal, most of the time comic enthusiast. Almost always borderline crazy. Still experimenting with comic blogging. An engineer with a vision to not be taken seriously. Everything you read on this blog doesn't represent my gender, religion or profession as a whole. Other name you might associate with me are Deaday, DayGoon, JaeminGoon and *cough* Mona *cough*
No one is perfect Day. Dont hate yourself. Everyone has their own flaws; thats human being yet we're His best creation. We will always have this love-hate relationship with ourself till the day when someone comes and make me us realise; yes we're worth to be loved yaaww
ReplyDeleteSame here, i was like this too sometime or not almost everytime i do hate my self, my attitude, my thought. Ughh how do i do to love my self and accept me more? :(
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